Lessons Learned in Homemaking: Family Mealtime

Mealtimes are favorite times for the Staley's. We love to be in the kitchen together, discover new recipes to try, and share in our creations together. Sometimes meals are simple, other times they are complex. More often than not these days, meals are cheap, simply because we have to save money. For us, mealtime is a time to enjoy each other as a family, date as a couple, unwind after a busy day, and invest in a practical hobby.

I have learned that as the household manager, it is my responsibility to plan the meals, prepare most of them, make the budget go as far as possible, and make it all enjoyable for my family. The following are just a few ideas that I've learned that work for us. 

Saving Money on the Grocery Budget

Before we tightened the budget to save more aggressively, our meals could get a little pricey. Our grocery budget used to be around $600 a month. Then we compared. We figured out that in comparison with other families of the same size and probably about the same income, we were over-doing it a bit. Unless there is some special occasion now, we just don't find it necessary to indulge, and we make the cheap stuff pretty yummy, if I do say so myself. We have cut our budget down to $400 monthly, and that is to include household items and baby needs. Though I'm sure there are ways to do it better, this is where we are for now. 

1. Meal Plan

This is probably our biggest money saver! We always plan weekly, sometimes biweekly, occasionally monthly. In the picture, you will see an example of one of our rare three-week meal plans. This meal plan happened because we had a lot of food in our pantry that needed to get used up, we like making soups in the fall, and we just wanted to see if we could make it work. Monthly meal plans need to be more flexible than weekly meal plans. So throughout the month, we may need to move some of the meals around, but the options stay the same. In case you cannot see clearly, some ideas include biscuits and gravy, veggie pizza, chicken and veggies with tortillas, eggs and potatoes, nachos, fish and veggies with rice, grilled cheese and soup, beans and rice. Other meals we've done include biscuits and fruit, fruit and eggs, salad, roasted veggies, tortillas and black-eyed peas, and sausage with cabbage.

2. Make a List

When we shop, we bring a list and ONLY PURCHASE WHAT IS ON THE LIST. That is most difficult for me, but I have to remember that it is necessary to make budget. Our list includes all items needed for each meal, school snacks for Malachi, work snacks for Jonathan, bottled water, baby formula, and household items such as toilet paper, dish detergent, etc. 

We also plan out snacks to purchase. We do not buy a bunch of junk snacks to have them readily available in our pantry whenever we want. We buy enough snack food for Jonathan to have some at work, and Malachi to have two snacks a day (morning snack at school and afternoon snack at home). If I snack, it is usually only once or twice a day and it is most often a piece of fruit or handful of nuts that we already have at home.

3. Channel Your Inner Betty Crocker and Make Food from Scratch

One bag of flour, one bag of sugar, a can of shortening or box of butter, and some salt are the basic ingredients to make breads, biscuits, pie crusts, tortillas, and more. I grew up on canned biscuits, bagged tortillas, frozen pie crusts, and other prepared foods. These are so much more expensive and unhealthy than homemade. The downside of doing things this way is that the products will not always turn out perfect. Sometimes my biscuits are too dense or my tortillas are too tough, but they are not inedible. We never throw them out, but discuss ways to do better next time. 


Making things homemade is also fun for the kids. Malachi loves to bring his stool in the kitchen, measure and mix ingredients, and enjoy his finished product. He not only learns math, science, and social skills, but he also learns to appreciate the gift of food. 

When seeking out recipes, I usually just Google search what I'm looking for, choose a link with five stars, and read the reviews before preparing. If I like the recipe, I save it on Pinterest and write it in a recipe journal that we have at home. 

Some things, like pasta or delicate pastry, are just too difficult for me to make at home with the tools I currently have. I don't sweat it when I have to purchase prepared items, I just avoid it whenever reasonably possible.

4. Become a Part-Time Vegetarian

Sweet Potatoes and Green Beans as a Meal

Our family initially became part-time vegetarian for my health concerns. I determined that the worst things for my health, or really anyone's health, are too much meat and too many simple carbs. What does that leave? Fruits, vegetables, eggs, fish, nuts, and beans. When we made this change, we saw how expensive meat really is and how it was killing our budget to have it every single day, sometimes three times a day. For those that say, "But you need protein and iron," I completely agree! That's why we regularly eat fish, eggs, beans, and nuts! We now have four to five vegetarian meals for dinner every week on average. My health has improved, our children are being taught better eating habits, and we are saving money. Triple win!

We also buy all of our produce either through Community Helpings Co-Op, which happens to have several area pick-up locations, or Aldi Supermarket. Occasionally will we need one or two ingredients that cannot be found through these resources, so we'll go to Schnucks. I will add that we also LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Trader Joe's, but only go there once every other month or so just for fun. 

5. Buy and Prepare in Bulk

Oh if we had a deep freeze or storage pantry, I would have a second home at Costco. I would also participate in a cow-share! But alas, our bulk-buying power is limited by our small living quarters. We can only do what we can do with the resources God has given us. When Shop 'n Save has their meat sale, and my freezer space allows, I stock up. 

We will also make soups and sauces in large amounts and freeze them for convenient, cheap meals later in the month. If you look on my meal plan listed above, you will see veggie soup written three times. That's because I made this amazing, hearty, vegetable bean soup in a giant pot and had enough for three meals. 

6. Change Your Definition of a Meal

Stuffed Mushrooms, Fruit, Veggies

Growing up, my dinner plate usually had a meat, a veggie, and a starch or grain. For example, a typical meal may have been pork chop, peas, and mashed potatoes. This can get expensive and unhealthy quick. Instead, we might have beans and rice for dinner and that's it. We make an effort to stop eating when we are satisfied, as overeating is a form of wastefulness, selfishness, and indulgence (gluttony) and can lead to health problems, so there is no need to load our plates up with more food than necessary. Also on my meal plan, you will see a couple days that just say "snack". That's because we love to cut up cheese, toast some bread or get out crackers, cut up fruit, get out some nuts and just munch.  Easy. Cheap. Fun. 

7. Buy Off Brand When You Can

You have to pick and choose what you're willing to sacrifice or spend with this one. I cannot get my husband to waiver from name brand Cheez-Its (I WILL learn to make some good ones homemade). But we have learned that off-brand baby formula is the same as name brand. Some of you may say, "Wait, you buy name brand crackers but not baby formula?! What's the deal with that??" Yeah.....have you seen the price of baby formula? It costs $30-$35 for the cheapest bulk package that I can buy, or I can spend $15 for more of the same stuff with the same amount of each nutrient. That's a savings of up to $80 a month! That's almost a quarter of my grocery budget. And the wee one is still growing and developing with the best of 'em. Additionally, if I could nurse successfully (and I did try), I would. Nursing creates a huge savings, not to mention the health benefits it provides, if that works for you. 

Making Meal-Time Enjoyable

Mealtime should be enjoyable. It should be a time to come together, pray together, talk about the day, and unwind together. As moms, we want to set mealtime up to be enjoyable for the whole family whenever possible.

1. No Negative Comments Allowed

A conflict with Malachi last night is what motivated me to move forward with writing this post in the first place. I worked in the kitchen for two hours making the aforementioned amazing soup. We sat down at the table and started eating. I looked at Malachi and asked excitedly, "Do you like it?" He responded, "Did you make it differently than last time?" and "I mean, it's okay, sort of." Ugh! I lost it. I scolded him all the way to my mom study, walked into Phoebe's house, and just started crying. I know it seems a little bit over the top emotionally, but that conversation is literally a nightly issue. i could take it no longer. Phoebe and I sat down at her table and I hashed out the entire conversation with her. She said, "Okay, this is obviously a problem for you, so what's your game plan? It seems that this will happen again unless you have a plan." She explained that it is completely unnecessary to seek feedback or approval from my children regarding the meal. How they feel about it really doesn't matter. Further, I have been blessed by Malachi's openness when it comes to food given to him. He never looks at a food and says, "No, I can't eat that," "That's gross," or any number of picky phrases. He has never been a picky eater in that sense. The negative usually only comes out if I ask. So, I need to stop asking. Simple enough. Next, Phoebe encouraged me to tell Malachi, and Isaac as he grows, that there will be no negative comments at the table regarding the food. Its not proper or acceptable. If there is a negative comment, the child will have to sit in silence for the rest of the meal. If he still won't comply, then his mealtime ends and bedtime begins. 

Why is it that the simplest of ideas and techniques seem to evade my mind completely? Phoebe reminded me that we all lose it and allow our emotions to trample over our logic. That's why a game plan is necessary. 

 2. Avoid Phones, Video Games, or Television at the Table Whenever Possible

This should not need an explanation. Mealtime is family time. I am speaking specifically of mealtime at home. There are some Friday nights that we might enjoy our "snack" dinner in front of a movie. There are times that we go out to a restaurant and allow Malachi to play on his game system while we visit with friends. This, like with all of my suggestions, has to be made to work for you. Just have some sort of structure and expectation with this. I know that wasn't as direct as my other suggestions, but in today's technology-driven world, it's not easy to outline in black and white.

3. Try to Keep the Mood Light

Moms, as we tend to be the mood-setters, I believe this responsibility mostly falls on us. Jonathan gets home right at dinnertime most nights. I know that he prefers me to be in a good mood when he walks in the door. This goes without saying. So, if I just fought with Malachi over homework, and now the biscuits are burned, I need to figure out a way to put that aside and make things light for when Jonathan walks in the door. Sounds kinda old-fashioned, I know, but that's how we do things. Take it or leave it as you will. 

The best thing that I can do is to control my emotions. I usually have some sort of quiet music playing, maybe a candle burning or essential oils diffusing, and I try not to let things get to me. Let me make myself clear, this is on an ideal day. I FAIL AT THIS ALL THE TIME. If I burned the biscuits, I try to remind myself that we have bread that I can toast. Ultimately, Jonathan doesn't really care. He would prefer that I be in a good mood than have perfectly cooked food any day. If Malachi is arguing with me or making me angry, I just have to end it. This is the hardest for me. It is not unusual for Jonathan to walk in the door to me scolding Malachi, but it needs to get under control. A game plan is in order. I'll work on that. 

Another obvious idea that I have forgotten is that mealtime is not the time to discuss major issues such as disagreements, family conflicts, or frustrating finances. Again, mealtime should be enjoyable. 

Start with Prayer 

This helps us to remember that we are to do everything we do to God's glory. This includes eating, drinking, and talking (see the Christianese term: Fellowship). Let's remember that God designed food to be enjoyed so let's thank Him for that. Also remember that God and God alone provides for our needs. God wants us to enjoy mealtime so that we can further enjoy Him.