Living frugally is something I have always struggled with. When I speak of living frugally, I am referring to living conservatively and simply in areas of time and money, but the ideas could be applied in other areas where good stewardship is required, such as health, work, and day-to-day choices. The opposite of frugal is wasteful, and I have been quite wasteful in many ways.
When I was in third grade, I remember having a report card sent home with the dreaded, red "U" representing "unsatisfactory" for the behavior labeled "uses time wisely." Needless to say, I found other things to do when I was supposed to be working. I was generally a good kid at school, but I remember my mother getting called in for a conference because I daydreamed too much. Funny enough, I see the same behavior in Malachi. I had to really work to stay focused and keep wise use of my time.
Time management remains a struggle for me today. The difference today is that I try to do too much. This started in late high school and college when I could be considered the typical "social butterfly." I can remember being so tired, but having a hard time leaving a social event because I did not want to miss out on something. After I had Malachi, I wanted adult interaction and companionship, so we went out with friends or to a family member's home almost every night of the week. Then when Malachi got a little older, church activities increased and sports were introduced. To say we were busy is an understatement. Overloading the schedule is not unlike making financial obligations that you cannot keep. It can be especially damaging for the relationships in the home. Between sports, church, community service, work, and social activities, keeping up with the Joneses was affecting us. Malachi would become cranky, demanding, anxious, and argumentative when our schedule was too full. When Jonathan and I started dating, he quickly took notice of my tendency to overload our schedule. We had to simplify. We had to prioritize. There is not a cookie-cutter explanation of how to do this for your family. Everyone's needs and priorities are different. To improve our time management, we set a limit of one sport per season, cut out AWANA Clubs because Malachi was already committed to so much scripture memorization at school, stopped eating out so much, and I learned to say no to social invitations. The same ideas can be applied to the daily to-do list. When I first started spending time with Phoebe, she reminded me that building and supporting the relationships in my home is top priority over the responsibilities of cleaning, running errands, and other activities.
As homemakers, we are given the tasks of managing our family's schedule and oftentimes the budget as well. Growing up, I was not taught proper money management. When I was given money, I was allowed to spend it. Sometimes my parents would shake their heads at me and say, "You just let money burn a hole in your pocket, don't you?" But they never took time to teach me otherwise. In young adulthood, I made huge financial mistakes in the name of selfishness, greediness, and materialism. When I became a single mother, I became less selfish with my money, but still could not grasp the techniques of really managing my money appropriately. In praying for a husband, I was very specific that I needed someone who could lead, provide, and manage resources well. As anyone that knows Jonathan can testify, God answered that prayer exactly as I had hoped.
Again, as with other areas of frugal living, prioritizing is key. I have had to learn the difference between needs and wants. I have noticed that when I buy new clothes for myself, I want more new clothes and accessories. When I shop less frequently, I notice that I don't feel the desire to shop as often. I have learned to appreciate second-hand clothes for my boys, as opposed to brand new. I learned to find joy in saving money by buying all of my new baby needs (crib, rocker, swing, etc.) on craigslist or in swap groups on Facebook. We have grown to appreciate a home without cable. The television is on less, books are read and games are played more. But our priorities may not be someone else's. I enjoy saving money through the use of cloth diapers, but will happily splurge on a pricey date night once in awhile. Others are content to use disposable diapers while saving money with free or cheap date nights. While priorities may look different for everyone, the absence of any priorities is what will cause trouble.
All throughout His word, God teaches us to manage our resources well--not to make much of us, but to make much of Him. With the Holy Spirit's help and by allowing Him to change our hearts, we can learn to honor him with our time, money, and other resources. We can learn to live simply, accept the life we are living, and learn the difference between needs and wants. When covetousness and discontentment begin to take hold in our hearts, we can seek the Lord's help, praise Him for the gifts He has given, and begin to see how blessed we truly are. Only when we are fully satisfied in the Lord will we find true joy and contentment.
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