Taste and See Conference: My Experience

I was so excited to go to this conference, as if you couldn't tell from my many Facebook posts! I was also honored to be invited by the Designed Healthy Living team to attend the Friday Foodies pre-conference sessions. I would love to share every detail of what I learned during the weekend, but that would take too long and I still wouldn't do it justice. So my goal is to hit some main points and share links to give you more opportunities to further research on your own.

1. A pressure cooker is amazing and every family needs one!

The first session that I chose was about how to use a pressure cooker. Let me just tell you, I have had zero experience ever with one of those things, and I am now confident that I could bring one into my home and pressure cook with the best of them. How cool is it that you can throw meat and potatoes in one pot and veggies in another pot, and dinner is completely done and plated within 20-30 minutes, prep time included?! Sold. 

2. Fermenting foods and beverages is totally doable.

I first came across information about making keifer and fermenting foods and beverages after I received the blood test results about my terrible liver. All searches led to fermentation. If you don't know what keifer is and if the idea of fermenting things creeps you out, rest easy. It is way simpler and yummier than I imagined. Seriously. It is as easy as buying a package of culture starter, pouring it into the to-be-fermented product, letting it sit on your counter for a few days to a couple weeks depending on the product, and voila! Healthy little bacteria anxiously waiting to take over your gut and boost your immune system. A quick online search about fermented drinks or foods, culture starter, or the benefits of probiotics will turn up numerous results for your researching pleasure. You can also click here to read about some benefits of fermenting, as written by Sue Becker of The Bread Beckers. Sue led several sessions during the conference and much of what I learned came from this awesome woman. 

3. Gluten is not the enemy.

Let me try to sum this up as simply as possible. Our bodies need some gluten. But that gluten has to be balanced with the right amount of fiber. The bread or flour that we buy from the store is way out of balance, then we eat way too much of it. This means that our bodies are getting way too much gluten and nowhere near the right amounts of the other good stuff (fiber, protein, vitamins, nutrients). This can lead to all sorts of problems that I can't even begin to list. What's the solution? Should we then follow the Atkins diet or go Paleo (which are essentially the same thing)? These questions were the focus of the majority of the conference, which leads me to my next point.



4. Bread is our friend, but only when we eat the whole grain (and I'm not referring to the label "whole grain" as can be found on any pasta or bread shelf anywhere). 

The answer, as taught throughout the conference, is to mill our own grain. That's right. MILL. YOUR. OWN. GRAIN. Crazy, right?! But after hearing testimony after testimony, and benefit after benefit, I'm thinking they may be onto something. Not only that, but any of the grain that was milled then baked into bread at the conference was incredible. Check out the articles on The Bread Beckers website for a wealth of knowledge on the subject. I will say, however, that anytime someone tries to sell me something as a cure all, I'm a bit skeptical. But from what I gathered, tasted, and tried, I'm pretty much sold. Top of Momma's Christmas list: Grain Mill.

5. Annette Reeder and the Designed Healthy Living team have a passion for sharing what they've learned to help others become healthy and worship the Lord with their lives. 

I think I could sit for hours just listening to and picking the brains of Annette and the rest of the conference team. Not only do these ladies have legitimate backgrounds in what they are teaching, but they have the personal experience to back it up. I had such a great time at the conference from the sessions, to the yummy meals, to the worship music led by the talented Linda Graham. If you ever have the opportunity to go to a Taste and See Conference, I recommend it. 

If Momma Ain't Happy...

You've heard the saying, "If Momma ain't happy, ain't no one happy." I believe that this phrase is so true. But I think it goes beyond that. I think, at least for our family, it is deeper than that. Recently, I have noticed that, like happiness, sin is also contagious within a family. Biblically, we understand that the Husband/Dad is the spiritual leader of the home. Additionally, I believe that the Wife/Mother is responsible for the general mood or emotional tone of the household, thus the well-known phrase above. Proverbs 25:24 says that it would be more comfortable to live in a corner or on a roof than in a house with a quarrelsome wife. When Dad struggles spiritually (not loving and leading the way Christ loved the church), there will be spiritual struggles within the family. When Mom has a poor attitude, there will be a general poor attitude in the home. Does this mean that each family member is not responsible for his or her own spiritual walk or attitude? Absolutely not. But when the family leaders are not leading well, the entire family will struggle. The irony is that I often come to this realization after we have been continually seeing Malachi be disobedient in a particular area. His disobedience becomes a pattern and we can see the heart issue behind the sin. Then sure enough, we can reflect and see that we too have been living with the same sin.

In the Staley home, I started to really notice this pattern a few months back. Malachi was found to be getting angry so quickly and easily. Then, Jonathan and I figured out that we were struggling with controlling our anger. Jonathan, being the spiritual leader that he is, wrote scripture (James 1:19-20) on a dry erase board for our family to study and meditate on. We also prayed together and independently, asking Jesus to help us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. By the Spirit's work in our family, there has been a noticeable decrease of anger in the home.

More recently, the struggle has been with discontentment. I posted on Facebook about a general attitude of entitlement in our home. Again, we sought the Lord in the matter. We were reminded that every good and perfect thing comes from God and that He is faithful to provide for our needs. If we having nothing else in this life, but have Jesus, we are blessed. Though we have not conquered discontentment by any means, we can see that the Lord is doing work in us.

Over the past month leading up to the present, our most frequent problem with Malachi has been lack of motivation, laziness, and a poor attitude toward work. "Work harder, Malachi," we tell him. "Depend on Jesus to help you through," we lecture. "Work unto the Lord," we demand. After a recent argument between Jonathan and me, Jonathan had determined that, once again, he and I were struggling with the same sin as Malachi. We were working to get approval from the other, and when that didn't happen the claws came out. He went to God, then came to me in repentance, pointing out the sin and how he was going to do things differently. But not me. No, I was still mad at him, and I wanted to stay mad at him. I knew in my heart he was right, but I was choosing to ignore the conviction.

Yesterday, I told Jonathan I that I'm frustrated with the feeling of never completing work in the home as the laundry, dishes, and cleaning are never-ending tasks. Then I feel incompetent, bored, and unmotivated.This morning, I looked around my home and my first thought was, "I really don't want to deal with this today." What has changed for the super motivated Stay-At-Home-Mom that was in my home a few months ago? The workload hasn't changed. The requirements of the job haven't changed. My family needs and my environment haven't changed. My heart has given way to sin. And, as it turns out, I can see that this sin started creeping up in my heart awhile ago. I've been working to please Jonathan. I've been working to serve Malachi and Isaac. Though these things are okay, they will never satisfy. Jonathan will never give me the "Thanks" that I feel I deserve in the way I desire because Jonathan is not perfect. My children will never be as grateful as I would like because they too are imperfect and selfish. I really need to take to heart the Bible's teaching (and the recent encouragement of a dear friend) to work as to the Lord, not to man. So I went to the Lord in prayer. I meditated on the Word. This is not by my power or personal motivation, but the Spirit's work in me. And guess what! It is noon and the house is clean, Isaac is content, and I had time to write this blog post! I now have some time to rest and play with Isaac before picking Malachi up from school, after which time I plan to update our birthday and Christmas gift budget. Even better, if I do not get something done or done perfectly, I can have peace knowing that I served the Lord as well as I could and that He is my perfection. I will also seek forgiveness from God and from my family for putting them before the Lord and ask them to hold me accountable in the matter.

If you find your children or your spouse struggling with a sin, and you find yourself lecturing, nagging, getting angry, or disciplining against the sin, I would encourage you to reflect on your own heart. Ask the Holy Spirit to convict you of any sin in your own life that may be trickling out of your heart and into your home.

A Little Boy's Heartbreak

There are fewer things more difficult in life than seeing your child experience heartbreak. My Malachi tends to have quite a tender heart. A couple of years ago I thought it would be a good idea to get a puppy. Malachi just fell in love with the little guy, but I quickly realized that my decision was a mistake. With just the two of us in the home leading very busy lives, we just did not have the time or attention that the puppy needed. I had to give him away. I had prepped Malachi for this. I explained why we needed to find him a new home and included him in the process of seeking a new owner. He knew it was coming. But at the moment of truth, when the new owner was walking out of the door with the dog, Malachi fell apart. He sat on my lap for a good hour afterward and just sobbed. In another instance, a neighbor and her daughter that we had grown very close to were planning to move. I told Malachi that they found a new home and would be leaving. For a moment, he just stood there staring at me with his big hazel eyes. Then, as if he had finally processed what I was saying, he just lost it. I usually find myself in tears anytime something like this happens. It is awful seeing him experience such pain. Everything in me wants to jump between him and the source of the pain so he does not have to see it. I want to absorb all of the ache so he does not have to feel it. But, as parents, we must do what is best for our children. Oftentimes, what is best for them is not to protect them from the heartbreak, but to walk through it with them. And usually, I'm surprised at his resiliency and ability to cope. I'm usually left with the conclusion that the whole experience was harder for me to watch than for him to come through.

Most recently, I've had to share some news with him that is different than his previous experiences. I think this has been the hardest to watch him go through. I've lost sleep thinking about it.

Malachi has a set of grandparents, Jan and Will, that he has always been especially close to. Oddly enough, these are not biological grandparents, but just a couple that has been very involved in my life for several years. Ever since I had Malachi and became a single mother, Jan and Will were there. They helped anytime I desperately needed a break and watched Malachi when I had a second job or classes to attend. They showed up at every important event in Malachi's life. Will played the father-figure roll to Malachi before he had a Daddy. Will and Malachi have always been especially close. This has been strange to see because Will is not particularly close or attached to anyone, with the exception of Malachi.

Malachi is his buddy. He calls him the "Little Guy" or "Bubby" and always "tickles his belly button" or "gets his chubby neck". These were phrases that Malachi came to expect and enjoy from his Grandpa Will. He knew that he could call Grandpa Will at work and invite him to his sporting events. He always showed up, even if it meant leaving work early and standing in the pouring rain, just to watch Malachi play.

Well unfortunately, Jan and Will recently decided to divorce. For the sake of this story and out of respect for their privacy, the details of their relationship are unimportant. When I heard that this was happening, Jonathan and I talked to Malachi about it for a long time and explained to him that Grandpa would be leaving soon. Not surprisingly, he cried. A couple of weeks ago, before he left, Will showed up at Malachi's soccer practice. Malachi was not expecting him. As he was playing on the field, he glanced over at me and saw someone tall standing next to me. We could see him squinting to try to see who it was and then I could see the realization come across his face. His eyes lit up. He ran over and hugged Will excitedly, then ran back to the field. Last Saturday, Will came to Malachi's soccer game. He stood behind the goal as Malachi played goalie and he coached him along. I knew he would be moving soon. I spoke to Will and asked him to let me know when and where he goes and to try to keep in touch. He told me he would, but I had a feeling that would not be the case. I found out this past Thursday morning that Will would be leaving town that evening. No one knew where he was going and he wanted to keep it that way. I called him at work and told him that Malachi had soccer practice that night. I asked, "Would you like to come, or would you rather talk to him on the phone and tell him goodbye?" He just said, "No, I think it would be best to just let it go." I got off the phone. Part of me expected this, but part of me couldn't believe it. He didn't even want to say goodbye. Malachi could have handled it. He does best when others are forthcoming with him. He would've had some closure. Honestly, I think it was mostly because Will did not want to have to feel the pain of leaving. Malachi really was the person that Will enjoyed most and I think he knew how much it would hurt to say goodbye. Once again, I had news to share with Malachi. "Grandpa Will left. He moved. We don't know where he is going and we will not see him again." He said, "I'm really going to miss him at my games. He really helped me when I was goalie. I wish I wouldn't have argued with him." I assured him that Grandpa Will loves him very much and probably doesn't even remember him arguing. A little while later, he crawled up next to me and started crying. Jonathan and I explained that divorce is awful and it is never God's plan. Divorce always hurts so many and the effects ripple on and on.

What sets this experience apart from the others, even the recent deaths that Malachi dealt with, is that someone he loves so much is choosing to leave him. Of course we know that the divorce is not about him, but that's not how it feels to him. We told Malachi that seeing the effects of sin (pain, death, illness, etc.) causes us to hate sin and see why we desperately need a Savior. We explained that no person is perfect and that other people, even those we love the most, will always disappoint us if we look to them for our perfect joy. In Jesus, we can forgive and we can have the hope of a better eternity. Jesus will never disappoint us and will always love us perfectly. We reminded him that we can allow pain to push us away from Jesus if we don't trust Him, or we can allow it to help us to lean more on Jesus and get closer to Him. Jonathan and I also promised Malachi that we would never divorce; that we are sure because God joined us together and is able to keep us together, even when we mess up. We also showed Him how God was already preparing our family to be able to deal with this pain before we even knew that it was going to happen. God provided Malachi with a Daddy and a new set of grandparents that love him so much. Fortunately, Malachi spent a lot less time with Will after Jonathan and I got married because I just didn't need the help as much anymore. We reminded Malachi of the other grandparents and people in his life that love him. No one will ever replace Grandpa Will in Malachi's heart. But by the grace of Jesus, Malachi will move on and heal. As his Momma, I pray he heals quickly...

Full Body Health Evaluation--Surprising Results!

After my most recent post, I decided to continue sharing what I am learning about my personal health concerns and new information learned about health management. I am especially excited to share my experiences at the upcoming Designed Healthy Living Taste and See Conference one week from today! Keep checking back for updates throughout the pre-conference, Fabulous Foodie Friday, as well as the main conference Friday evening and all day Saturday.

With all that said, let me start by sharing about yesterday's appointment with a new chiropractor, Dr. Aletha Eller of Innovative Health Partners. First of all, I just really enjoyed this woman! She has one of those personalities that make you want to be around her. You know the kind I'm talking about; the kind of person that when you meet them, you feel like you're old friends. She started out by asking why I was there. I told her about my recent blood tests and my concerns about my health. I told her of my struggle to lose weight. She also asked about my family relationships; marriage, children, siblings, parents, etc. She asked about my upbringing, my faith, and my work. It was sort of a mini intake session for counseling. She explained the difference between what she does, what other chiropractors do, and what medical doctors do. Basically, she studies and practices Chinese medicine. She looks at the whole person and how everything is connected. She works to keep a person healthy in order to prevent them from needing medical care. She did mention that medical doctors are awesome at what they do, but ideally it would be nice to manage our health before we become "diseased" and in need of medicine.

We discussed my medical tests a little more. My blood pressure has always been excellent. My blood sugar is great. My cholesterol is normal, albeit on the high end of normal. Most areas tested fell within normal ranges. However, a couple of areas indicated poor liver health and inflammation (an indicator of infection) somewhere in my body. She said that she frequently sees patients with high liver enzymes. She said that it is so common that most doctors will brush it off until it gets too high. At that point, they will prescribe medication to manage the levels. But again, we want to prevent that from happening. Interestingly, she asked more about strained relationships within my family. She asked if I have unresolved anger. I told her that I don't believe I do. I explained that though I do not communicate with some people, I don't feel angry towards them. I believe that anger, bitterness, and resentment are more harmful to the one feeling those things and that Jesus calls us to forgive, as He has forgiven. I don't believe that means we have to reconcile necessarily, because sometimes that is just not possible. But I don't harbor resentment. She explained that unresolved emotions can target different organs. Oftentimes, anger targets the liver. She also stated, however, that poor liver health can just be the result of toxic living. I believe this is the case for me. She pointed out that my tests happened just one month postpartum and that could have had a negative impact on those specific areas as well. We'll test again to find out if there have been improvements. 

Dr. Eller went on to do a full body examination. She explained to me how our bodies can tell us so much more about ourselves than we realize. She tested the strength or health of different parts of my body by having me resist her pushing my arm down while she used her other hand to focus on an area of my body. If she targeted a specific area and I was able to resist her, that area of my body was well. She did find good health throughout my body. She specifically pointed out that my hormones are good and strong, which is so important for good health. This also makes natural family planning very easy. I am grateful for this! 

On the other hand, if she targeted a certain area and it was unwell, my arm completely collapsed at her push. She found sinus problems that I was aware of, but have learned to live with. She also found the liver problems that my tests indicated when my body displayed weakness during that part of the evaluation and when I told her how much it hurt for her to touch it. I did not even know where my liver was, but I think I should have known. Then she pressed a little lower and I just about screamed at her. This, she informed me, was my gallbladder. Based on the inflammation of my gallbladder, she said it is unlikely that my body is digesting any fats that I take in and I am on the verge of a serious gallbladder attack. This is the inflammation that my blood tests indicated. Additionally, guess what storing fats can lead to. That's right, an unhealthy liver. I told her that I felt very severe pain in that spot throughout both of my pregnancies. When I mentioned the pain to my OB, he told me several times that the baby was just pressing against my ribs. When I still felt the pain there after each pregnancy, I just assumed that my ribs were bruised. This was not the case! I have had a terrible gallbladder for at least the past seven years! This is the pain that made sitting at my desk at work, or sitting in the car completely unbearable. When I did further reading at home about gallbladder problems, I discovered that the pain that I felt throughout my pregnancies, pain that started just under my right ribs and radiated up my chest, over my shoulder, down my back and around my ribs, indicated that I was having gallbladder attacks. This is the kind of severity that causes women have their gallbladders removed. I had no idea. Furthermore, gallbladder concerns are common among women, especially pregnant women, and the elderly. Why, I wondered, did my OB never check this area? As common as these concerns are among pregnant woman, and after I indicated stabbing pain in that area, this should have been evaluated. Perhaps it wasn't evaluated because insurance only pays for fifteen minutes for each prenatal or general medical appointment...I'll leave that statement where it is before I get on a soapbox. Dr. Eller provided me with a supplement to take a few times daily to support my gallbladder until we review the entire evaluation next week. She indicated that I will probably be put on a gallbladder cleanse. I also read that extra Vitamin C and fiber can help the gallbladder. So for lunch today, I am eating a whole red pepper and drinking a Naked Juice with fiber added. A low fat, low cholesterol (good cholesterol is okay), high fiber diet is the way for me to eat. I am glad that through previously researching about my test results, we already started eating mostly vegetarian meals throughout our week (vegetarian is also cheaper!). The Community Helpings Co-op has proven to be a very helpful resource! We get cheap fruits and veggies, including some items that we normally wouldn't buy at the store. It's been fun to experiment with new foods and create new yummy dishes! Mainly, I want to avoid surgery and medication. I want to be healthy the natural way. This is the goal if at all possible.

Dr. Eller went on to complete the evaluation. She mentioned that I have been gifted with very strong genes from both parents. She said that we would discuss this more next week. I like discussing the good things! She also said that my stress level is very low and that I seem to be very well emotionally and spiritually right now. I told her that I am in a very good place in life right now, my stress level is the lowest it has probably ever been, and my enjoyment in life is probably the highest it has ever been. I believe that this is mainly due to God changing my heart during the summer of 2011 and showing me that my joy does not come from my life circumstances; that my hope is not based on the present. I want what God wants. I want to bring glory to Jesus. This is not my doing, but the Holy Spirit living in me. I also believe that God has provided a way for me to do the one thing I have ever really hoped to do: Stay home and take care of my husband and children. This has given me such fulfillment and enjoyment in life! 

Next Thursday, I will go in to see Dr. Eller again. At that time, we will discuss all of the "pieces of my puzzle" as she puts it. An action plan will be put into place to make me well. Then on Friday and Saturday, I hope to find some valuable tools and resources to help me stay healthy for God's glory. I can't wait!    

From Grief to Obsession

At 30-years-old, I am lucky to have a lot of grandparents still living. But earlier this year, I lost one of them. My Grandma died after a long battle with cancer. But before she died, my son and I took many opportunities to spend days or weekends at her house. We made lots of great memories with her and Grandpa. When she died, I was heartbroken.

A couple months after my Grandma died, my family lost someone else. For simplicity purposes, we'll call her my sister-in-law (she's not really, but that explanation is for another time). It was devastating to see Anna, so young, get diagnosed with a terminal cancer, fight that cancer through painful and exhausting procedures, be given hope through a cancer-free diagnosis,  and have the cancer come back and take her life a short time later. I watched as her health and physique quickly deteriorated. I spent time with her weekly and was very aware of her declining mental state. I watched as my loved ones ached at her passing.

I think that the most crushing part of the whole ordeal for me (and for most), was watching her three children lose their Momma. I have to pause to choke back tears at just the memory of it. At her funeral, I saw her 9-year-old son lean into the casket and kiss her cheek. At that moment, I silently fell apart in my husband's arms. I couldn't stop thinking (maybe selfishly).....What if that was me? What if that was my boy? God, please don't let that happen to us.....I can't....I WON'T let that happen to us. The funeral passed and, as it does, life went on...

A few months later, I got a phone call from a college friend. Other than through Facebook, I don't hear from this friend often...unless he has news that needs to be shared among our circle. He called to let me know that an old friend had died suddenly, leaving behind his wife and two very small children. I wasn't close to this young man, but I had known him for several years through my old youth group, and then through several mutual friends. He was my husbands age (27, I think) when he died. His wife was his age and his children, as I said before, were very young (about 1 and 3 maybe). A couple days after his death, his wife learned that she was pregnant with their third child. At just the thought of the whole situation, I was shaken to my core. It wasn't surprising that I was soon waking up from nightmares uncontrollably sobbing, grateful to see my husband alive in the bed next to me.

It was shortly after these deaths that I had resolved to fix my health. My health has never been terrible, but given a pretty awful family history, poor habits learned during childhood, and a lifelong weight struggle, I knew the inevitable. I looked at Jonathan and said, "I'm 30-years-old. I had a step-mom die at 49 and my sister-in-law died at 41. If I do not get my health under control, I am sure to be diagnosed with something within the next 10-15 years. I'm convinced of it." To make matters worse, I recently received some not-so-great results from a blood test. Again, it wasn't terrible, but there were definitely areas in need of improvement. I began to spend hours online researching those areas to figure out the causes, the fixes, and the long-term expectations. On one hand, I learned a lot of valuable information that can definitely help. I scheduled a first-time appointment with a family physician and another appointment with a new chiropractor in hopes of sharing my test results and gaining more information. But on the other hand, I had developed an obsession. It was all I could think about or talk about. I was constantly considering and trying different avenues of health improvement. Jonathan became increasingly concerned with my new obsession and pointed it out to me. I hadn't even noticed. I had created an idol of my own health. I was seeking Google instead of God and it was affecting me. I had to stop. I had to repent.

I remembered that surrendering my concerns and my life to God is a daily choice. When we surrender to God, He wants every part of us, including our health and diet concerns. Jonathan pointed out that I could do everything in my power to improve health, and still die tomorrow. Understanding and being aware of my health is not a bad thing, but putting anything before God is idolatry. I am not in control of my life, and that is a good thing (or I'd probably already be dead). I need to seek God daily for guidance and trust in Jesus to be my perfection. I can enjoy the natural resources that I found on Google and through friends, but I must understand that every good and perfect thing comes from God. This is not to say that I can live foolishly indulging in the sin of gluttony and expect God to protect me from cancer or diabetes. I need to make wise choices, trust God to provide a way, and have complete faith in His plan for my life. In Christ, I can have victory over my daily struggles, and only in Him do I find perfect peace and hope.